Mayhem was busy with some readouts from the computer as Chaos and Pesti-chan entered the apartment. There was a large empty space where a lake god in an aquarium had once been. However Chaos was still ruing the fact that somewhere in his bedroom lurked a terrified octopus that would cling to the back of his head upon seeing him.
"Ah, home sweet fanboy home!" Pesti-chan sighed, flopping down onto the couch. "Whatcha looking at, Mayhem?"
"I used the BEAST supercomputer to download some information about the Japanese seiyuu actors," Mayhem replied, bringing the papers over to the living room coffee table.
"Seiyuu?" Pesti-chan asked.
"The Japanese voice actors," Chaos explained, fetching a few bottles of Hard lemonade from the fridge. "This should be interesting to read."
He tossed one bottle to Pesti-chan, and then winced as he managed to cream Mayhem in the face with the second bottle of hard Lemonade.
"Gomen nasai, Mayhem!"
A small newt crawled back onto the couch, drenched with the cold water dripping from the moisture of the bottle. A few seconds and a dip beneath the pan-dimensional, Ranma 1/2 kettle later found Mayhem refreshed and human again.
"This is really getting to be a pain in the ass," he sighed, drying off his hair.
"Sugoi!" Chaos exclaimed, taking a seat beside Mayhem on the couch and inspecting the seiyuu lists. "The voice actress for Ami-chan's voice also does the voice of Devil Hunter Yohko!"
"Mamono Hunter Ami-chan?" Pesti-chan mused, sipping his Hard Lemonade, still sprawled out on his couch. "Now that's a strange cross-over."
"We could get a cool nekkid flash when she transforms!" Mayhem exclaimed, suddenly sporting cute little devil horns and a forked tail.
"Been there, done that, have the pictures to prove it," Lord Havoc said.
Our three fanboys paused for a moment and glanced over their shoulders. Havoc simply kept his eyes happily closed and smiled at them.
"Okay, who let him in?" Chaos demanded.
Havoc then produced a grinning Rampage-chan. "Oh, and I found her on the galactic pirate ship Arcadia. They practically gave her back to me and then rather rudely booted me off the train."
"They let you bring Rampage back?" Chaos exclaimed. "Curse you, Captain Harlock!"
"I fear to ask what horrors you did to Maetal," Pesti-chan sighed.
Havoc grinned. "Why ask? I did--"
Chaos immediately booted Havoc out the patio doors and into urban Tokyo. "I swear I'm being punished for something I didn't do."
"What about the lake god incidents?" Mayhem inquired.
"Temporary insanity, that's all!" Chaos protested.
Suddenly Havoc crashed through their ceiling, toting a number of frilly new additions to his collection of panties. "Thanks for the boost, Chaos! This is so cool; I stole Tira Misu's costume from the Bakuretsu Hunter OVA!" And to prove so he held the black and rather revealing leather ensemble. "Tadaa!"
"Yeow-zah!" Chaos exclaimed.
Pesti-chan's eyes widened enough to overtake his entire face. "Remind me to check out the OVA's sometime in the near future."
Havoc flopped down into the couch next to Pesti-chan. "Ah, life is good here in alternate realities. I'm going out for the manga club at our school--"
"I can't believe they even let him into Jyuban," Chaos mutterd to Mayhem.
Mayhem nodded. "Well, we are stuck with Devil Hunter Yohko's S&M principal. That might explain a few things."
Chaos shuddered. "Uh-oh. She asked if I could see her in her office after school on Monday. Um, I could fake my own death...."
Havoc continued: "You know, our mangal club's a rival with Pesti-chan's magic club. And you should see our club president! She's got these two humungous--"
"Thank you, Havoc!" Chaos cut in. "We've seen her Gainax bounce enough times already."
"Hai," Mahyem chuckled. "We see her Gainax bounce step out of a bus before the rest of her does."
Chaos and Pesti-chan groaned.
"But let us return to fantasizing abou Ami-chan," Mayhem said, going all Bambi-eyed again. Everyone else but Havoc found themselves plagued by those annoying sweatdrops.
"But," Pesti-chan cut in. "If you take into account how cute and shy Ami is, coupled with the fact that Yohko can't lose her virginity even if she tried, your chances of--"
"No!" Mayhem exclaimed, clapping his hands over his ears. "La la la la la la la la!! I'm not listening!"
"A snowball in hell has a better chance of being lobbed by Yu Yu Hakusho's Koenma Jr. as he drives a zamboni through hell's new free-of-charge skating rink courtesy of a freak blizzard," Chaos supplied.
"On the other hand," Pesti-chan said. "Mayhem stands a good, 1 in 3 chance of being possessed by a demon."
Chuckling at Mayhem's plight, Chaos perused the seiyuu listings on the sheets. "Hey, and Sailor Moon's voice actress also does Misato's voice! And Dragon Half's Mink too!"
"Come to think of it," Mayhem remarked. "They do almost look alike."
Chaos further scanned the list. "Aeka's seiyuu also does a part in...Uretsuki Doji?! Don't tell Havoc that."
"Who do you think talked her into doing that role?" Havoc said, pointing to yet another name. "This should interest you, Chaos."
Chaos scanned the list. "What else do we have here? And...oh my god. Ma-Ma-Mako-chan..."
Pesti: "You found her seiyuu? Let me see!"
Mayhem: "Impressive listings: Precia, B-ko, Arashi. And she also does...oh my god."
Pesti: "Masaka!"
All: "Kekko Kamen?!"
Mayhem: "I feel shafted. If we do a character crossover fanfic I just get to see Ami-chan naked in a transformation scene. You get to see Makoto in the nude whenever she appears."

* * *

Well, wasn't that insightful?
Moving right along lest we witness another bad in-flight movie gag, it was later into the afternoon or perhaps just about eight-thirtyish that Friday night when Makoto--
Chaos: "Supreme queen goddess to us all!"
Mayhem: [cleaning ears] "That was a test of the emergency otaku broadcast system. Had this been an actually emergency you would have probably assumed it to be just another test and--provided you were a girl--have your panties stolen by Havoc where you sit."
--found herself enjoying a quiet moment as she walked down the sidewalks of Tokyo. Humming a strangely familiar "Moonlight Densetsu" tune to herself, she began to think about how great this weekend would be. Especially considering that it would be some time to sit back and relax with her friends without the sheer lunacy of the fanboys.
"Excuse me, Miss!" came a cheerful and darkly familiar voice.
Makoto glanced back. "Hm?"
And the was Havoc, smiling sincerely. "Would you like to go skydiving?"
"She most certainly would not!" Chaos exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere to smite Havoc into the pavement. "Sorry about that, Mako-chan. We've tried cattle prods but it appears he's as electrically resistant as Ataru is to Lum's shock therapy."
Mako-chan relaxed from her recoil-in-shock pose, blinking in surprise. "Duo...what are you guys doing here?"
"We were trying to find your apartment," Pesti-chan said. "Did you want to join us for a small party on Saturday night? We're going to invite the rest of the Inner Senshi--"
Whereupon Pesti-chan was elbow-thrusted into the floor by Mayhem. "Ix-nay on the enshi-say, Pesti-chan."
"But you're the first one we've managed to track down to ask," Chaos finished for the smited underlord in training. "And I stress now that Havoc will not be there. We'll be giving him the remote control of the gods to play with for the night."
"That's almost more dangerous than keeping him here, don't you think?" Mayhem inquired.
"CHU CHU!"
And with that, Rampage-chan leaped into Makoto's arms for a cuddle, smiling and licking her face. She giggled, letting the SD Godzilla-thingy sit on her shoulder.
"We're all going to a special hotspring out of town," Mako-chan said. "Usagi, Minako, Rei, Ami and I are going to leave tomorrow morning and come back Sunday night. Gomen ne, but we won't be able to come over."
"We could join you," Mayhem offered. "I mean, not in the hotsprings...officially...but it would be the first time in a while we've all gotten together since the Spoon-chan incident."
Makoto shook her head. "Sorry, but it's a hotspring only for women." Her eyes narrowed at Chaos. "People who are naturally girls."
Three fanboys gave pathetic and sad poses before turning into stone gargoyles that cracked all to pieces. Behind them scrolled the kana for "rejection!!", which Rampage bounded over to and ate.
Satisfied with that quick snack Rampage nuzzled Mako-chan's neck and purred contentedly. "I guess she wants to come home with me," she remarked. "Is that alright, Kamui?"
"Whatever," Pesti-chan sighed. "If I had the chance to go over to your place and eat your delicious homecooking, I'd be there."
Mako-chan laughed, flattered. "Maybe sometime later, Kamui."
Pesti-chan sighed, now with a stupid grin on his face.
Chaos just sat there, all bug-eyed and stunned and looking like he'd just tried to chug some coffee beans straight up. "Um, oh yeah? Well if I had the chance to go to your place, I'd nuzzle you and lick your cheek too!"
Mayhem slapped himself in the forehead. "Baka."
Seconds later Chaos was punted clear into the ocean by an irate Makoto, only to then be attacked by an enormous octopus-like mecha and Cat Girl Nuku Nuku.
"Well, he's got nice form," Pesti-can said.
"I give him an 8.3," Havoc remarked.

* * *

Well, it was the next day--that's Saturday in case you weren't paying attention, and we don't hold that against you if so...officially.
Ahem.
Anyhoo, not much had happened for most of Friday night and Saturday morning. Ami, Makoto, Rei, Minako and Usagi went off to their hotspring adventure with Rampage in tow, leaving behind a tearful set of fanboys...except for Havoc who wasn't there at the time. But we're not going to get into that little episode involving Havoc's disappearance and a mysterious theft at Sylvie's Silky Doll lingerie store.
Chaos spent most of the time moping around the apartment and Pesti-chan tried to cheer him up. We stress 'tried'. Havoc spent most of his Saturday ironing his ever growing collection of stolen women's underwear. Mayhem went about his usual business of playing the Tokyo stock market, being very wary of how the Genom Corporation and its Boomers were doing in trade.
"Well this is a thrilling afternoon," Havoc dryly remarked, playing around with his hentai tamagotchi creation as it [ahem] "beeped" for attention.
Chaos shook his head. "I can't believe you still have that La Blue Girl tamagotchi."
"That's a tama-echi, Chaos."
"Oh, well! My mistake!"
"Chaos," Pesti-chan cautioned. "Do you want to go back on Ritalin again?"
"We could be getting ready for the Anime party to end all Anime parties," Chaos sighed, his voice slightly slurred as he took another gulp of yet another bottle of Hard Lemonade.
"They had a valid reason for not coming," Mayhem replied, working at the computer. "At least she didn't say she wasn't coming because of the Wonderland incident."
Pesti-chan rolled his eyes.
"Can I at least have the remote control of the gods?" Havoc asked innocently, his recently stolen New Angel halo shining over his head.
"Here," Chaos sighed, tossing the remote. "Knock yourself out, Havoc."
The halo abruptly broke apart and its remains fell to the floor as a diabolical grin appeared on Havoc's face. Yes, if anyone has been paying attention to the last Fanboys! fanfic and the Fanboys! special they already know that no good can come of this. On the other hand it does make for interesting plot twists. But let's not get ahead of ourselves lest we see how big the behind is.
"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Pesti-chan asked, watching Havoc click himself out of the fanfic. "I mean, remember what happened the last time? It's a wonder the Eye of God never nuked El Hazard for what he did there!"
Chaos shrugged, still wallowing in his Hard Lemonade. "I'm too depressed to go into super deformed mode over his antics right now."
Growing hungry, Pesti-chan got up and walked over to the fridge. "And usually if Rampage is out for the night you've got Gundam Wing's 'Just Communication' song rattling the buildings across the street. Damn, you are really depressed, Chaos."
"Why is it that she wants a carnivorous, black hole for a stomach, super deformed, Godzilla-thingy over me?" Chaos lamented.
"Those groping instances suddenly spring to mind," Pesti-chan remarked, fishing for a meal in the fridge. "Do we have any more of those okonomiyaki things from Uuchan's?"
"Check the top shelf," Chaos replied, leaning back on the armrest of the couch as he chugged his lemonade. Seconds later a loud thud! echoed across the living room as Chaos toppled onto the floor.
Pesti-chan rolled his eyes. "Oh, for the love of...! Come on, Chaos." He dragged his catatonic lordship Chaos back onto the couch. "Why don't you settle down for some mindless antics of Mink and her Dragon Half video and forget all about the Senshi."
And then streams of tears came down Chaos' face and his mouth grow so large that if he had wanted to, Pesti-chan could have drawn a happy face on the uvula.
"WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Usagi's seiyuu also did Mink's voice too! I want my Mako-chan!"

* * *

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